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Humor and Laughter Share your jokes and funny stories and brighten someone's day (clean jokes only please).

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  #1  
Old July 12th, 2016, 03:15 AM
Adig Adig is offline
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Location: Melbourne Australia
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Default Have a laugh

I had to share this story posted on the internet.

My dog loves nothing more than sitting on the toilet seat when I'm taking the shower. The other day though I was having some stomach problems and the world was coming out of my ass. As I sat on the commode almost in tears praying for it to be over, I can hear my dog scratching to get in. I lean over to crack the door not only to let him in, but to let some of the nasty smell out.
When I'm finish I reach for toilet paper and find there ain't none. With a tear in my eye I stand on up, feeling at least 10lbs lighter, and penguin walk across the room to grab some. Next thing I hear is my dumb dog leaping into the toilet and falling down the bowl.
Everything goes slow motion. My Beagle cross is covered in my feces, he's freaking out 'cause he done gone wet and stinks. He leaps outta the commode and hightails it outta the room and runs to my sister's bedroom across the hall.
Now y'all seen dogs when they get wet right? They be shaking and rubbing themselves all on the carpet and up the wall. I hear my sisters hollering and screaming 'cause my dog is spreading my muck all over their sheets, shaking it on their clothes and none of them wanna touch him 'cause he's filthy. They can only sit back and watch in horror as he ruins everything and tries to leap up at them. You see, my dog is a big old marshmallow and loves to jump up on people.
I'm standing in the bathroom with my junk still out, still needing to wipe, and all the while thinking it might be worth locking the door and climbing out the window to freedom instead of facing my sisters wraths.
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Old July 23rd, 2016, 07:07 PM
ltd-addition ltd-addition is offline
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Location: Tyne & Wear U.K
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Default Re: Have a laugh

My Goodness it couldn't have happened at a worse time for you.

I think that it is time to keep a supply of the toilet roll nearby.

There is nothing worse when you go and you find that there is no loo roll left. I think in public toilets it is wonderful when you find yourself caught out and you ask if someone has loo roll and then a hand appears from under the door with a big handful of tissue for you. To all of those who understand the issues and have the heart and flexibility to bend far enough down to hand another " A Life saving " tissue I thank you all for being so good and kind.
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  #3  
Old August 4th, 2016, 07:58 PM
Adig Adig is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Melbourne Australia
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Default Re: Have a laugh

AAAh! No it didn't happen to me. It was something that my daughter read on the internet and showed me. I thought it was so funny that I had to share it.
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