Dementia. It steals your memories, your body, and your joy.
Though I won’t sugarcoat this dreaded illness, over the eight years my mom battled dementia, I learned that there are moments that can be celebrated.
I learned that joy can be found in times of loss.
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When my mom first moved into a nursing home, she was in the later stages of Parkinson’s and the mid-stages of dementia. Her mobility decreased as her dementia increased, and she was spending much of her day in her wheelchair.
One routine I had with her when I visited was to take her for a walk after dinner. When I say “walk,” I mean me pushing her in her wheelchair as she didn’t have her mobility at that time of day. Because of her dementia, she lived in a locked wing of the nursing home and didn’t get out unless I took her. Just outside her unit was a small lounge that residents could sit and enjoy a coffee, play games with fellow residents, or listen to someone playing the grand piano that stood at one end of the room.
One evening after dinner, I was pushing Mom down the hall and about to pass the lounge when she perked up and said, “Stop!”. There was music playing out of a recently installed jukebox, and pretty loud, too. “Oh, you like this, Mom?” I asked. I pushed her chair into the room, and she just stood up, without any help at all, and started to dance with her chair!
It was quite incredible, really, and people who knew her then wouldn’t have believed it had I not caught some of it on video. So the clip I’m sharing here includes a minute and a half of the music that awoke my mom that day. I apologize for the video’s shakiness—I hadn’t planned on this, of course– I was just so happy to see her in this state.
My mom is now gone, but this moment of joy remains with me as one of the happiest moments I ever had with her.
I wish you these kind of moments too.