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Humor and Laughter Share your jokes and funny stories and brighten someone's day (clean jokes only please).

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  #1  
Old July 24th, 2008, 03:56 PM
Pauline Pauline is offline
Cherished Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Roseneath ont Canada
Posts: 1,267
Default Are you lonesome tonight

Baby Boomers version of;

ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT ?

Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?
Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day... When
you had all your teeth and your gums?





Is your hairline receding? Are your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her and it's prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain... do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?





Is your blood pressure up, your good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, metamucil to boot, keeps you
like a well oiled machine.





If it's football or baseball... he sure knows the score. Yes,
he knows where it's at... but forgets what it's for.
So, your gall bladder's gone. But his gout lingers on. Tell
me dear, are you lonesome tonight?





When you're hungry, he's not, when you're cold, then he's
hot. Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right.
Then you get his great symphonic snore.





He was once so romantic, and witty and smart. How'd he
turn out to be such a cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets, this is as good as it gets. Tell me
dear, are you lonesome tonight?

(author unknown)
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  #2  
Old July 25th, 2008, 12:50 AM
Drew Saunders Drew Saunders is offline
Super Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Letham village Angus Scotland
Posts: 355
Default Re: Are you lonesome tonight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pauline View Post
Baby Boomers version of;

ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT ?

Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?
Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day... When
you had all your teeth and your gums?





Is your hairline receding? Are your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her and it's prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain... do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?





Is your blood pressure up, your good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, metamucil to boot, keeps you
like a well oiled machine.





If it's football or baseball... he sure knows the score. Yes,
he knows where it's at... but forgets what it's for.
So, your gall bladder's gone. But his gout lingers on. Tell
me dear, are you lonesome tonight?





When you're hungry, he's not, when you're cold, then he's
hot. Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right.
Then you get his great symphonic snore.





He was once so romantic, and witty and smart. How'd he
turn out to be such a cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets, this is as good as it gets. Tell me
dear, are you lonesome tonight?

(author unknown)
Nice one Pauline. I relate to most of above! Keep 'em coming, Drew
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