children, children and more children

[Diane]

A little boy got on the bus,
sat next to a man reading a book,
and noticed the man had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked
why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest,
said 'I am a Father.'

The little boy replied
'My Dad doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book
and answered 'I am the Father of many.'

The boy said
'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren
and he doesn't wear his collar that way'

The priest, getting impatient, said
'I am the Father of hundreds'
and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while,
then leaned over and said,
'Maybe you should use a condom
and wear your pants backwards
instead of your collar.

[heather]

Good one Diane

[Pauline]

Good one Dianne Pauline

[Pauline]

Dear God; why do humans smell flowers but seldom, if ever smell one another?

Dear god more meat balls less spaghetti please.

Dear God when we get to the pearly gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God are there mailmen in heaven?

Dear God let me give you a list of just some of the things I must rember to be good: I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up . I will not roll on dead sea gulls , fish, crabs, etc; just because I like the way they smell . I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty , they are not food . The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.The sofa is not a face towel; neither are mom and dads laps. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff . My head dose not belong in the refrigerator. I will not bite the officers hand when he hands mom a ticket . I will not play tug -of- war with dads under wear when he is on the toilet. Sticking my nose into someones crotch is not an acceptable way of saying "hello" I do not need to suddenly stand up when I'm under the coffee table. I must shake rain water off before entering the house . I will not throw up in the car . I will not come in from the outside and immediately deag my butt across the living room carpet . I will not sit in the middle of the living room floor and lick my crotch when company is over. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he make that noise , it's not a good thing , AmenPauline