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Humor and Laughter Share your jokes and funny stories and brighten someone's day (clean jokes only please).

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  #1  
Old June 13th, 2008, 07:20 AM
Drew Saunders Drew Saunders is offline
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Location: Burbage Leicestershire, England
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Default Amen

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. "You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.

"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

"It's probably best", said the Priest, "You've done nothing but moan since you've been here."


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  #2  
Old June 14th, 2008, 04:48 AM
grldnklly grldnklly is offline
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Default Re: Amen

[quote=Drew Saunders;3046]Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. "You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.

"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

"It's probably best", said the Priest, "You've done nothing but moan since you've been here."


[/QUOT

Very good! I shared this one with my nephews and nieces and they were in stitches.
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  #3  
Old June 15th, 2008, 01:33 PM
JD2008 JD2008 is offline
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Location: Georgian Bay Ontario Canada
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Smile 3 Aussies and 3 Maori's

This is a Rugby funny - sent from my son, who says any joke which shows the New Zealanders being smarter than the Australians is a good joke.....................

Three Australians and three Maori's are travelling by train to a Rugby match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maori's buy just one ticket between them.
'How are the 3 of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the Aussies. 'Watch and learn, bro,' answers one of the Maori's.
They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three Maori's cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket please.'
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the Maori's on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Maori's don't buy a ticket at all!!
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' says one perplexed Aussie.
'Watch and learn, bro," answers a Maori..
When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a toilet and soon after the three Maori's cram into another nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterwards, on of the Maori leave the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Aussies are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, 'Ticket please.'

(I'm sure the nationalities could be interchangeable, but NZ & Australia are soooooooooooooooocompetitive....Jennifer (from Canada but originally from NZ)
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  #4  
Old June 15th, 2008, 01:53 PM
Clair Bear Clair Bear is offline
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Default Re: 3 + 3

LOVED IT ! soo good, soo true!
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  #5  
Old June 16th, 2008, 06:48 AM
JD2008 JD2008 is offline
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Default Re: 3 + 3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clair Bear View Post
LOVED IT ! soo good, soo true!
Hello Clair Bear,

Whata part of Aussie are you from. I'm originally from the top of the S.I. NZ - will be visiting family there for 3 months at the end of the year. Have visited Australia a few times.
I'm dx about 18 months ago - just considering medication......Jennifer
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  #6  
Old June 16th, 2008, 02:08 PM
Clair Bear Clair Bear is offline
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Default Re: Amen

Hi Jennifer,
I live in northern New South Wales between Tweed Heads and Murwillumbah. Just over the border from The Gold Coast. A lovely part of OZ to live.
Regards
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