Juanita Mullin
March 1st, 2009, 10:00 PM
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later, "Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later, "Da-aaaad..."
WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later..."Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
************************************************** **
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy come in or stay out!'"
************************************************** **
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
************************************************** **
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said no that she had another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.
Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.
She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years."
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
Juanita :D:D
Five minutes later, "Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later, "Da-aaaad..."
WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later..."Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
************************************************** **
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy come in or stay out!'"
************************************************** **
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
************************************************** **
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said no that she had another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.
Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.
She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years."
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
Juanita :D:D